En la cabeza

It's probably like that symptom...a symptom of self destruction that exists in all of us...but often enough it's that same seed that helps one grow too. Paradoxical isn't it...like a lot of life.

I don't know what it is that draws one incessantly...with alarming regularity to bits of alternate culture that continually mock and ridicule normalcy, a sense of being stable...that stokes the feeling of not settling for what's accepted. Looking the status quo horse in the mouth and living life on terms if not of your own, then on those drawn from a melange of counter culture implosions brought about through films, music, conversations, talking with other counter culture junkies all tossed about in your head, whipping up this exotic and heady cocktail that's all consuming...

I sit here just returning from registering for my next French course, drinking in Spanish spoken in a Madrileño accent set in a movie filmed in Barcelona and now trying to make sense of these implosions listening to Julieta Venegas. I mean...what sense am I going to make? Who am I kidding? Is all this real and supposed to mean something or is one just living in a delusion, happy to ignore the immediate reality of life by surrounding oneself with abstract thoughts, aesthetic ideas and ridiculously unrealistic concepts of life?

Thought may liberate you but watch out she can also be hard to be with...hard to be without. Much like Maria Elena in Vicky Cristina Barcelona...pienso ....no...seguro que tengo que escribir desde hoy en español...un poquito...una vez la semana...cada semana. Sobre este blog. Sí.