One

The mind is awash in a maelstrom of thought...so much so that I could be almost pensive. There is Christmas cheer all around; parties, food, drink, merryment and joy. But an almost unfelt, yet gnawing feeling of imbalance seems to wind its way around me. The constant question which I've grappled with for some years now: the philosophers of old must be throwing a paternal and ironic laugh my way; indeed the Gods themselves may show a twitch of a knowing smile as they go about their business: here's another penny in the pool they may say, out to seek the answer or the truth to something we ourselves don't yet know, cannot yet fathom.

The Gita goes some way in talking about it...that the Universe in itself has a soul and we are all part of it: if you're an 80's child in India you will doubtless recall the "eternal wheel" which would show itself on TV before every episode of the TV series of the Mahabharatha. The wheel meant to signify the constant turning of time or the Universe. And hence all that happens is in some way or the other ordained? Or it just is...there are no reasons and better yet; naive and imperfect beings such as myself better not go out in search of them either!

Whatever be the case (and I am not yet giving up the quest of finding answers), for some reason again that I don't fully comprehend, some of us are driven to chip away at the imbalances around us, to try and tilt the scales to resemble something approaching semblance and equity. It was this desire to inject more of a balance in the scales around me that continues to haunt me from time to time over the last few years. Along that path, we find different ways to do it and one early lesson I heard but rejected was to never underestimate the power of One. I wear a little white band on my left wrist with that word inscribed on it. Many people ask me what it means and I tell them, for me it only stands for hope. And the fact that every One of us have in us, the ability to chip away at those scales. I fully didn't believe I could myself do anything significant but I am slowly beginning to believe that is not entirely true. Life, truly, is what we make of it and as the Gods and philosophers of old knew, and some of the exemplary individuals of the 20th Century knew too, determination and persistence even by one person applied in a dogged fashion can often result in spectacular results. I learnt today that that is indeed the case...that there never is reason to doubt this is the case. And that whatever be the answers, I won't stop seeking and I definitely won't stop chipping away. Not just yet.

This is probably my most incoherent and incomprehensible of posts but then again, at times incoherence is the currency we use to buy that golden feeling that is catharsis.