I am...

A description of me so apt I had to put it up here:

"YOU...you, my friend, you're a standard liberal. A nice, center-left leaning, unoffending, politically correct internationalist silly liberal"


No prizes for guessing who came up with this description.

26 years on...

Confession time: I don't cry often. Not much moves me to cry. But I've come close a few times. And I've cried a few times. One I clearly remember till this day is when I was not selected for my state Under- 13's cricket team. Another time was Rock Werchter 2008 ...certainly a time when my eyes were moist...when Neil Young walked on stage. I will remember that till the day I die.

Strangely enough, the Phish show that didn't happen...Camden N.J 2009/06/07 for which VJ had me a ticket...I downloaded the whole show and I have been listening to it over the last 2 days. Phish came together in 1983...I was 2 years old then. And now in 2009, they are still as fresh and sweet and incredible as they have ever been. This is something that I am a part of, a journey I have been on for the last 5 odd years and its something I cherish in a way I cannot describe. I've come close to having moist eyes several times as I listen to these 4 guys do their thing. I feel privileged. When they play "Silent in the morning" on this show...I came close to just letting go.

Lotus Born

I am not sure whether it is my excitement regarding my trip to Ladakh in August or me reading two books which trace Tibetan buddhism and its richness or...something else. But I feel more and more drawn to the Dalai Lama lately...more so than I have ever felt. Is there a more complex explanation to this? Why do some things begin to pique your curiousity when they do? Hmmm...

What I do know is I must read more of the Dalai Lama's writings.

Tweet tweet twee...oops.

I find it truly absurd that censorship in its form continues in China. Ahead of the Tiananmen Square protest anniversary, the last Commie outpost seems to have pulled out all the stops to curb discussion, conversation and dissent. We truly live in an absurd world where the power of money has resulted in the free world pretending to be friends and sleeping with a regime which is as bad, if not worse than those in Burma, North Korea and some of those despicable regimes in Africa that China patronizes. 4 years ago living in Shanghai I was increasingly frustrated at the lack of any stimuli or news from the outside world other than meaningless American baseball reports and a few side clips on tennis. Politics was mostly rubbish and business news was propoganda about how the Chinese behemoth was advancing.

4 years hence things seem to have gotten worse. Tibet has been crushed in a systematic way...cultural genocide at it's best. Free speech is almost impossible and money and a better standard of life is being offered with one hand and liberty, freedom and self-discovery has been brutally snatched with the other. Nothing suggests that this trend will change soon, if ever. But then no one imagined the collapse of Communism in Europe in the spectacular fashion it did happen so one can only hope that sooner rather than later, the Chinese people will take matters into their own hands. But nothing right now suggests that to be so. Till then, I will continue reading about Tibetan culture and spirituality and hope one day I can discuss these things with Tibetans in Tibet. In my lifetime...? Perhaps...perhaps not.

Belief

I was thinking to myself after the 10 K run on Sunday...well thinking is the wrong word. I think the word is reflecting. Yes as I was reflecting in a very unstructured manner, all kinds of past events flitted through my mind. I was again told by someone close that I have self discipline and that's what got me reflecting. I've always seen myself as somewhat lazy, unwilling to go the extra mile and I've always felt I am content too easily. Having said that, over the last 6 years I've lived in 2 different countries, reinvented myself completely, changed career tracks...twice, ran a marathon. So maybe I am not that much of a wimp after all. I will immediately add also that I harbour no pride or even a sense of accomplishment...I keep telling people some of the things I've done anyone can do. But the key really lies in believing. I think if you really believe you can and really want it bad, it comes together. Events conspire to make things happen in your favour. I am not enlightened enough to articulate this further, besides it's already been spoken about by countless people in the past. If you want something, really believe and try to make it happen, most times it really will happen.

OST

On a Kingfisher flight to Delhi and now in my room at the guest house here, I’ve been watching the first part of the Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers’ documentary called Runnin down a dream. What is amazing as I continue to watch their story is how deeply they have touched my life. One of my dreams has been to watch Tom Petty live in concert and while I probably think I won’t now, considering how little they tour, despite that I don’t think any musician or band has influenced me and reached out to me as much as they have. Even more incredible is the way they connect with who I am and my hopes and dreams. Here’s a band that came together in 1974 in Gainseville, Florida. Tom Petty was born in 1950. And here’s an Indian boy from Bangalore who feels closer to Tom Petty’s songwriting than with almost any other expression of art, music, books or popular culture, in his own country or otherwise. Surely there is a cosmic explanation to this which I cannot fathom at this point in time.

I began hearing Tom Petty at almost the perfect time in life…when you are unsure of the world, when you feel at your most vulnerable, when you experiment with life, when there only seem to be questions and a cloudy horizon.

The story behind Tom Petty’s rise as a musical genius only adds to the feeling of comfort I feel when listening to his lyrics. His music has become such a comfortable companion to me over the last 10 years that I hardly even stop to really listen anymore. Its like those friends you meet at the local café or bar: they’re always there and all they require in acknowledgement is a friendly nod, smile and you sit down at the table. The warmth and camaraderie needn’t be reinforced. It’s simply there, ever present but never overwhelming.

Right from “American Girl” to Damn the Torpedoes, Southern Accents, Into the great wide open to Wildflowers…I’ve never really stopped to consider the breadth of his music and how I resonate with those songs: from Pecos to Starters, from Vikhroli to Rotterdam, lonely, lost nights in Shunde, train rides and plane rides, bus rides and long waits, long drives and now that feeling when “learning to fly” kicks in when I’m on the 18th Km, no single person has kept me company, made me laugh, found me smiling in understanding or nodding in hope than Tom Petty. Its taken me a long time to realize this but listening to him talk, seeing the method behind the music has suddenly thrown into stark relief what I always knew. Its eerie at some level to think that a lot of the soundtrack to your life was written before you were born and since then has kept pace with how you grew up. Sure there’s no element of rage or angst here but that’s why this music is so great. You don’t have to be in a certain mood to feel close to it, I can just be me and still feel like this is an OST to the life I’m living now.

Thank you.

Tas!

I danced till 2 AM last night. If you live in Bangalore, this is an almost inconceivable possibility! However, us Bangaloreans are resilient, in a tenuous and convoluted way I guess. When we get an opportunity to rebel against moral policing, we do it with much fervour provided we are not offending any strident right wing group or the cops. We're softies that way. Wait...did I just contradict myself...? I told you we were tenuous....moving on.

Anyway I danced till 2 AM last night. Because Tas got married. And if that in itself wasn't another unimaginable possibility (only because I still think of Tas walking around campus in SJCC abusing lecturers), there were also Van, Akhila, Ash and yours truly present at the wedding! 5 of the original 9 members of AIESEC Blore EB 2000-2001 still happy to meet, drink and party together after 10 years. Again, another rare but wholly satisfying occurrence. (Kala, Bob, Ronald, Kunal I'd be lying if I said we missed you....ha ha just kidding!)

I guess this is one of those reminiscent rambling posts...10 years have gone by but we are still the same. The same reasons I loved these guys 10 years ago are still what brings me back and keeps me laughing and joking with them. They haven't changed despite the changes in their lives. Friendship is a fairly ambigious term but this surely is one manifestation of that term. It was almost like being back at June National Conference in the year 2000 (only Ron was missing from the bushes). I'll stop. Congrats Tas & Rahul. Tas: we love you. And I'm so happy we were able to share this day with you. I'm also happy Ron wasn't around to fall into the bushes.

Mostly sweet & a bit bitter

Now that the dust has settled and the picture clearer, I feel vindicated following my earlier post a day before I cast my vote in Bangalore. The only party who could morally lay claim to govern India has been chosen by an incredible & unexpected majority of voters right across the country. My delight is obvious and I can only hope now that the likes of Milind Deora, Sachin Pilot, Shashi Tharoor & P. Chidambaram provide strong leadership and accellerate reforms in this country. I am especially excited at seeing the likes of these gentlemen representing India at home & abroad. Like our cricket team, our politics too seems to be approaching a period of renaissance and I can only feel optimistic about the future.

An unsurprising outcome though which has left a bitter aftertaste for me are the results in my state of Karnataka and especially in my city of Bangalore. All 3 seats contested in Urban Bangalore have been won by the BJP and Karnataka saw the BJP record its best performance among any states in the country! When did my home become saffron? I have no idea. Despite recent events where Hindu fascist groups were on the rampage, the people in Bangalore felt it better to side with a militant ideology. Of course, the Congress did no favours to itself here by putting together a shockingly shoddy and disorganised campaign. However, I am still disappointed and feel some of the more liberal reforms this city needs (longer hours for bars, restaurants etc, abolishing ridiculous bans on creative expression, lowering atrociously high excise duties on foreign products etc etc) will not now happen. It seems like the citizens of Bangalore are leaning increasingly to the Right and that more than anything is the worrying bit. For now, I'll comfort myself with the numerous images of our Prime Minister waving the V sign with "Singh is King" playing in the background! :-)